Mr. Ben: “Good evening Gimmick friends! It’s another edition of the Earthnauts! I’m Ben Faltinowski, and with me is Commander . . . uh, I mean COMMODORE . . . Commodore Union of the Earthnauts!”
Union: “Yes, thank you Mr. Ben! I keep forgetting that too! The promotion that the Grand Elder and the Lesser Elders has given me is astounding! I’m now an Engedian Elder too, Saucer Commander, and Chief of this new Earthnaut Colony!”
Mr. Ben: “So what are we doing today, Union?”
Union: “Now that Expedition I and Expedition II have joined on Earth, its time that our Earth friends that read your internet blog document get to know some facts about each of us.’
Mr. Ben: “Can that be done in one article?”
Union: “I believe that several would be appropriate, Mr. Ben! But we’ll start out with a couple of small facts about us . . .”
Grand Elder Nomad & First Lady Tia
Engedian Houses: Alef and Bet
Earthnaut Role(s): Grand Elder of Engedi and First Lady of Engedi.
Age (Earth Equivalent): 80 and 74
Engedian Star Force Ranks: Grand Commandant and Major
Biography: Engedi is governed and led by a somewhat large group of Elders. The Elders are benevolent leaders in protecting, guiding, nurturing, sheltering, and encouraging their people to build their talents and become leaders in the skills gifted to them by the Great Imm Leader, the only Human to regularly visit Engedi . . . without ever using a ship to go to and from the planet.
Why they became Earthnauts: Nomad and Tia became Earthnauts because they wanted to see the “throne world” of the Great Imm Leader, and are here on Earth to visit the great sights on the planet and assist in determining the identity of the Great Imm Leader.
Echo
Engedian Houses: Samekh
Earthnaut Role(s): Captain / Commanding Officer of the IFS Thunder
Age (Earth Equivalent): 35
Engedian Star Force Ranks: Major-Captain (recently promoted from Captain by the Grand Elder).
Number of Engedian Doctorates Earned: 16
Biography: Echo is a die-hard follower of duty, honor, and purpose. The purpose is to enforce Engedi’s protection and to help and defend all other interstellar races (including Earth) from oppression and danger. Since he was a young boy on Engedi, he was inspired by the Elder’s examples of kind leadership and the promotion of peaceful scientific development.
Why he became an Earthnaut: Echo, like virtually every other Engedian, loves to explore Space. He’s been fascinated with the Great Imm Leader’s throneworld Earth, and has come not only to explore Earth but to provide security for his other friends and the Human Race itself from enemies like the Agagans and the Ahhn forces.
Chance
Engedian Houses: Reish
Earthnaut Role(s): Engineering Officer, Starbee and IFS Thunder’s Captain of Engineering
Age (Earth Equivalent): 34
Engedian Star Force Ranks: Captain of Engineering (recently promoted by Commodore Union and Major-Captain Echo).
Number of Engedian Doctorates Earned: 16
Biography: A jovial, lighthearted, good-natured wisecrack that gets even the most uptight humanoid to crack up laughing. Behind this however is one of the most brilliant engineers in the non-human universe. With most of his 16 doctorates covering high-end Engineering and Quantum Mechanics, Chance is a genius that has few peers. He has personally supervised the design and construction of hundreds of Engedi’s famed flying saucers. In his comical fashion, he coined the term “IFS” to describe the saucers in reference to Earth’s term “UFO” (UFO = Unidentified Flying Object, but IFS = Identifiable Flying Saucer / Ship).
Why he became an Earthnaut: Chance loves technology of all types. His job is to observe and learn about the technologies that Earth has and is working on. Although primitive compared to Engedi, he believes that there are things “from the past” that can make things better for all, like perhaps the race of the Great Imm Leader might be able to match Engedi’s technology faster than they did.
Sneak
Engedian Houses: Dalet
Earthnaut Role(s): Surveillance & Intelligence Officer, IFS Thunder’s Navigator, Physicist, Chemist, Metallurgy, Security, Culinary Arts, Investigator, Communications.
Age (Earth Equivalent): 27
Engedian Star Force Ranks: Commander (promoted by Major-Captain Echo)
Number of Engedian Doctorates Earned: 16
Biography: Sneak is no question the smallest of the Earthnauts team. Despite being a dwarf, Sneak is known as a giant among the “Star Builders”.
Sneak is best known for being best friends with Union. Union was a very bright boy in school but was often mercilessly teased for being sick and was often not able to go out to play. Sneak would bring Union’s school work home and he would spend countless hours studying with his best friend. Sneak would also stand up for his sick friend and stop the others from teasing him.
Why he became an Earthnaut: To serve as the intelligence officer. Also to learn about Earth food, and help his sister Oceana figure out why some of the food on Engedi taken from Earth have made their people sick. He also wanted to be with his sister and help is best friend Union.
Sneak
House: Yod
Earthnaut Role(s): IFS Thunder’s co-pilot, Security Officer, Engineering Assistant, Astrophysicist, Navigator
Age Equivalent: 21 (Earth-Years)
Engedian Star Force Rank: Sergeant
Number of Engedian Doctorates Earned: 16
Biography: Eli is the youngest of the Earthnauts. He was selected by Professor Lagrange to serve as a backup pilot for the IFS Thunder (as a stand in for Major-Captain Echo). He enthusiastically is pursuing advanced doctorates in subspace transmission and teleportation technology. He has been charged by the Lesser Elders and the Oracles to develop a mass-teleportation device specifically rescuing a large segment of Humanity, specifically those who follow the Great Imm Leader sometime in the very near future. His doctoral advisors are none other than Sneak and Chance who are more than pleased with their determined student.
Why he became an Earthnaut: He loves the Imm Leader, as all Engedians do. He wants to learn about the Imm Leader’s throne world, see the sights, be with his friends, and train under Chance and Sneak’s expertise.
Medallion
House: Lamed
Earthnaut Role(s): IFS Thunder’s Communications Officer, Advisor, Engineer, and Chaplain
Age Equivalent: 38 (Earth-Years)
Engedian Star Force Rank: Lieutenant Commander
Number of Engedian Doctorates Earned: 16
Biography: Medallion, like many of the house of Lamed, is a skilled Oracle. The Oracle is a group of Engedians that are skilled in communicating with the Imm, a powerful race of righteous Celestial beings in charge of doing their Great Leader’s will and tending all of Space and Time. The Imm bring messages to the Engedians on where to go next, what planets and stars to build and protect, what alien race needs deliverance from the Ahhn and Agagan oppression, and just how to serve each other better. The Oracles also have been given power by the Great Imm Leader to control even natural elements and phenomena ONLY when He directs them to. Sometimes this has involved visits to Earth many times in the past to preserve and protect a certain group of Humans east of the Mediterranean Sea. Medallion has made his life’s commitment to promoting the will of the Great Imm Leader, to let his people and humans know that this Leader is upright, kind, loves ALL Peoples, and that those who want to seek Him will CERTAINLY find Him.
Why he became an Earthnaut: As a member of Expedition II, he is here on Earth to assist the Grand Elder and Professor Lagrange in identifying the Great Imm Leader and His Human people. Medallion considers them “brothers and sisters”.
Lagrange
House: Nuun
Earthnaut Role(s): Dean of the Great Engedian University, Newtonian Professor-Emeritus (succeeded by Union), Historian, Anthropologist, Archeologist, Physicist, Mathematician, Investigator, Leader of Expedition II, Researcher and advisor to the Elder of Sol (Union).
Age Equivalent: 54 (Earth-Years)
Engedian Star Force Rank: Major-Commodore (Emeritas-Reservist)
Number of Engedian Doctorates Earned: 44 (broken only by Union)
Biography: Lagrange is a brilliant academic professor, researcher, and investigator. For many years he had the distinction of having earned more Doctorates than any other before him, a rank that earned him the academic appointment of Newtonian Professor. One of the chief architect of the Earthnaut initiative to send several Engedians to Earth, Lagrange struggled with a pathological wariness / fear / frustration of Humans, namely their civil-warring ways and selfish tendencies. He never hated them though, and it was through meeting Mr. Ben and his family that he began to overcome this, realizing that Humans intrinsically have wrong in their hearts that they can overcome if they seek for the right solution. Lagrange’s most prolific, legendary student was Union, the former Commander / Medical Doctor promoted to Commodore, Chief of the Earthnaut colony, and the first Elder of Sol.
Why he became an Earthnaut: As a member of Expedition II, he is here on Earth to assist the Grand Elder and Medallion in identifying the Great Imm Leader and His Human people.
Oceana
House: Dalet
Earthnaut Role(s): Botanist, Anthropologist (of human women culture), Chemist, Nurse, Dietician, and Humanities Researcher / Specialist.
Age Equivalent: 21 (Earth-Years)
Engedian Star Force Rank: Sergeant
Number of Engedian Doctorates Earned: 15 (with one more to earn under Union’s doctorial advisement)
Biography: Oceana is one of the youngest members of the Earthnauts, the first Engedian woman to set foot on Earth, and the second woman of the team along with Lady Tia.
She is the biological younger sister of Sneak and she enjoys working with him as a distinguished colleague and just enjoys being with her older (but MUCH smaller) brother. When given the chance to join the Earthnaut Expeditions, she jumped at the chance to come to Earth and learn more about the ways of Human women and their customs. In the process, she grew hair from using a lash volumizer belonging to Miss Jessica (Mr. Ben’s wife).
She’s great friends with all the team members of Expeditions I and II, and has faithfully cared for the Grand Elder and Lady Tia. She has a strong friendship with her brother Sneak’s best friend, Union as well.
Why she became an Earthnaut: To learn about Human women and their ways, to learn about the plant flora of Earth, to be a companion for her brother Sneak, and to finish her Botany doctorate under Union’s advisement.
Union
House: Gimel
Age Equivalent: 27 (Earth-Years)
Engedian Star Force Rank: Commodore, Elder of Sol
Number of Engedian Doctorates Earned: A record-breaking 56 . . . 3.5 times more than the average Engedian!
Earthnaut Role(s): Elder of the Sol (System), Engedi’s Newtonian Professor, Expedition I Leader, Earthnaut Colony Chief, Medical Doctor, Lead Researcher, IFS Thunder Flagsaucer Commander.
Biography: Of all the living scientists in the Universe, and despite his relatively young age equivalent to a 27-year-old Human man, Union has nearly NO PEER. Among non-humans, Union may be the greatest living scientist, engineer, doctor, philosopher, and many other disciplines in the Universe’s history. Only the Grand Elder Nomad and Professor Lagrange come close. With such genius (even for an Engedian), one would think that Union would let it go to his head, but he is kind, humble, polite, loving, caring, and compassionate whose quieter and reserved about his abilities.
Why he became an Earthnaut: Serve as the first Engedian Elder of Sol (or Earth’s Solar System), the lead contact for all of his people based in the Earth system and defender of Space threats to Humans. Like his friends, he is here to learn about Earth, its people, it’s science and its medical ways. To learn more about friendship with Humans, and also to lead the efforts of starting a small community of Engedians like him on Earth. Finally, he wants to learn the identity of the Great Imm Leader, the only Human to have visited Engedi.
Mr. Ben: “So there you have a summary of our Earthnaut friends. In the next few Earthnaut Profile articles, my family and I will interview our little friends and learn about their journey and visit to Earth!
Union: “Yes! And we will be happy to tell all Human friends who love “Aliens” more of our stories. About research, about our visit and greatest of them all, the search for the Great Imm Leader!”
For the Great Galactic Space Gimmick, we’re the Earthnauts and Mr. Ben! 🙂
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(DISCLAIMER: The alien characters depicted in this story are fictional, and any real alien with similar names, similar appearance, or similar home planet is highly coincidental. Also, the aliens and some photos used for The Earthnauts stories are used in honor and parody of various works of science-fiction and alien themed literature and media. It is believed that this constitutes legal fair-use. Same is said of the photo of Stephen Hawking used in this story as a tribute to his life’s work, discussion about it and his inspiration to scientists everywhere. It is believed that this constitutes fair use.)